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Books that will help you understand your self and help you heal
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items I have read each of these books in an attempt to heal from the various hurts and heartaches in my life. Each have been incredibly valueable for different reasons. I have tried to explain why I used each book but if you have questions, please don't hesitate to ask! I wish you healing from whatever it is you are going through.
Sections
7
Relationship and Marraige
Communication
Attachment
Trauma
Infidelity
Where is God/ Jesus in the hard, the hurt, the trauma, and how to redeem yourself and relationship.
Relationship and Marraige
These books cover what goes into a healthy marriage. They include topics of how to make a marriage work, how to keep love alive, how to understand your spouse, how to show love to your spouse other than sex, and emotional intelligence.
This book give almost every possibility for what a marriage might look like. It gives clear examples of roles and what to do and what not to do when it comes to the way we treat our spouse. It also gives you a way to examine your own relationship and look at where you might need help.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
A really good book to help you understand when a hard marriage turns to a destructive marriage. Talks about how to leave or how to stay and to do it well. It is based on both biblical and pyschological principals.
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage Guide
Excellent book at explaining what boundaries are, what they are not, and how to set them. A practical book that gives you real ways to implement what you learn.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
Prayers for the days you don't feel like praying.
The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage Book of Prayers
This book helped me learn how to be my own person, but still love my spouse. It showed me how to protect myself and my marriage.
Boundaries in Marriage: Choices for Relationships
This book answers the question, How do I love my partner well now by not bringing up the past?
Love in the Present Tense: High Intimacy Marriage
This was great for not only looking into attachment but also how to form a real coupledom.
Getting the Love You Want: Guide for Couples
This book has helped me understand how to
The New Rules of Marriage: Make Love Work
I think every married person, especially men, should read this book. This is like emotional intelligence 101. Can not reccommend this enough!
This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Guide
These books have helped me understand the dysfunction in my marriage, understand what was my part and what was the part of my spouse, what I need and what I give in a relationship, how to resolve conflict in a healthy way, how to have hard conversati...
Rene Monnot's Books to Save or Build Your Marriage
Communication
How to have healthy communication within a romantic relationship
This book taught me how to approach hard conversations. I read it for my marriage, but it could be applied to work relationships or any kind of relationship.
Crucial Conversations Tools, Second Edition
Attachment
All of these books helped me to understand what attachment is, how it shows up in relationships, what my attachment style is and how it affects my marriage, what attachment style my spouse has and how it affects our marriage, and how to get our attac...
This book helped me to understand attachment and how it worked.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment
This book helped me understand how my partners brain is wired and how my brain is wired and how they interact. It took away shame and allowed me to understand myself in relationships a little better.
Wired for Love: Understanding Your Partner's Brain
Trauma
All of these books I have used for myself and for my clients as a trauma coach to understand and heal from trauma.
This book really opened my eyes to how trauma effects the body and to see the ways it had effected mine. Side note, if you have any miliatry history, this could be triggering.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, Body
Experiencing abuse or neglect as a child affects the rest of our life. Our health, mental wellness, and relationships.
Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma...
This book was essential in understanding my physical responses to trauma.
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
I am a somatic based trauma coach; meaning, I use the body and the mind to help you heal. These are books I used for myself and continue to use with my clients.
Bookshelves of a Somatic Trauma Coach
Gave me excellent insight into how the body releases stored trauma and what that even means.
In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma
This was huge in helping me to understand that some of my trauma came from generations before me.
It Didn't Start with You: Inherited Family Trauma
I had no idea the impact trauma has on memory until I read this book. I use to get so frustrated with myself and now I am able to give myself grace.
Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body Guide
Infidelity
Infidelity is a pain like no other. It's very isolating and very hard to find others that share the experience and understand how you feel. I turned to these books when I experienced it in my own life. They were a lifesaver.
Healing from Infidelity is BRUTAL. This is a great book to understand how the betrayer can start to build trust again.
Worthy of Her Trust: Rebuild Trust in Marriage
This book is great to help you feel less crazy and for the cheating spouse to understand how to move forward and set boundaries that protect your marriage.
Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity
Dont let the title make you mad and keep you from buying it. This book gave me hope and a way to look past this time to the possibility of a time that is full of redemption and blessings.
My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing Ever
This book says its for sex-addicts, but it works for spouses that have cheated just once. It's a path through the pain. It helped me understand what was more important and what to do next.
Moving Beyond Betrayal: 5-Step Boundary Solution
This book is exactly what it says it is. If you are stuck in a repeat cycle of triggers and you can't get over what happened. You can't sleep, you can't function, etc. This book can explain what is happening and help you move on.
Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder
Where is God/ Jesus in the hard, the hurt, the trauma, and how to redeem yourself and relationship.
It often feels like God has forgotten us or that his promises aren't for us when we experience something awful. When all we see on the evening news is trauma after trauma, its easy to lose sight of God and where HE is in all the brokenness. These books helped me wrestle with those questions.
One of the best books I've read on how to accept what has happened and move on, still believing God is good.
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexp...
Hands down one of the best books I have ever read. So many good pages, I have had to go back and reread it several times. Sp valuable just helping you come to terms with situations that can't be changed and what God calls us to do.
Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How ...
EXCELLENT book on mature faith and mature emotions.
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
One of the most beautiful books I have ever read. Her account of the holicaust and how it changed her life and how she's been able to help others change, is remarkable. One of the best ways I've seen victim mentality talked about.
The Choice: Embrace the Possible - Dr. Edith Eva Eger
Why does God allow trauma to happen? Where is HE in the middle of all the mess? This book helped me ask and answer those questions.
Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores
Forgiveness
Forgiveness isn't easy. These books helped me walk through forgiving some of the hardest hurts in my life. It gave me a map and way through the pain to the other side.
A great book for looking at forgiveness a bit differently. Very transformative for both parties.
Radical Forgiveness: A Five-Stage Process
How do you forgive somehting you will never forget? This book answers that question and more
Forgiving What You'll Never Forget
One of the most beautiful and practical books on forgiveness I've ever read. Not only does she empathize with your pain, she shares ways she worked through forgiving, which really helped me as well.
Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Move On, Make Peace